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My first word of advice to newer parents is first never start bedtime snack routine- its pointless. If you are like most busy families your kid just ate an hour ago practically. They are not hungry, they simply want to delay going to bed! Second, don’t ever get an Elf on the shelf.
I know everyone seems to love this tradition of making the cute elf do silly and funny things every night while your precious angels are fast asleep. I did too. I pinned all sorts of great elaborate schemes our mischievous little guy could get in to. That was short lived to say the least.
It all got thrown through a loop when our son decided a little stuffed elf coming alive and creeping around the house in the middle of the night watching him was scary so therefore he didn’t want to go to sleep with it in the house. This should have been my clue that this tradition was not for us but I still envisioned those cute images from Pinterest and Facebook of everyone else’s elves and it seemed like so much fun so I pressed on. We wrote a note to our elf asking that he not go in our bedrooms just in case we might wake up and ruin the magic. This helped ease our kiddos fears and it seemed like we all could sleep again peacefully.
And that’s just it- we slept too peacefully. I now routinely wake up at 3am realizing I never moved the damn elf. So here I go downstairs in the dark and am trying to remember where I put the elf already this year so he is sitting somewhere new. All creativity is lost at this moment I am just trying not to kill the Christmas spirit entirely.
The days of our elves elaborate hijinks are definitely gone- now he just casually moves around the house. Lazy yes, but more practical for a mom and dad of three absolutely!
Last year was a particularly busy hectic year for us and I definitely did not want to add to our stress with a holiday tradition I hated myself for starting. Unfortunately here enters mom guilt…kids start asking why our elf is late this year. Did he not love us anymore? Is Santa mad at us? Did we do something wrong to make the elf not want to come back? Ugh, cue my resolve to abolish the elf dissolving. So on St. Nicks (a predominately midwestern holiday where Saint Nicholas leaves candy and fruit to good little boys and girls in their shoes. Strange I know) Ralph- our happy little elf made his appearance, BUT with a long note saying he was being assigned to another family so he could only stay with us for 1 week before moving on. I thought this was brilliant, my kids not so much. I caught my oldest (age 9 then) whispering to the elf to beg Santa not to send him to another family. Again cue mom guilt. Here I am complaining over a silly inconvenience when I should be relishing the fact that my 9 year old still believes in the magic when so many kids don’t anymore at his age.
Why am I not loving every minute of this tradition like it seems so many other parents do?!
In the end Ralph stayed for two weeks and left it vague as to if he will be back. Sadly I know the guilt will get me and I will give in. Ralph will be back but only for two weeks again I think. I have realized that while I am the queen of traditions and love all things that will create wonderful long lasting memories for my children and people I love, I also have to remember the value of my sanity! The holidays are stressful as it is with shopping, baking, house guests, and traveling I do not need to add more to my already overflowing plate in the month of December. Maybe we should come up with some sort of easter bunny on the end table- I have way more energy at that time of year and would enjoy it way more!
My last and final advice to you if you are like me and started this darn tradition with your own house elf, is to create a calendar of ideas way ahead of time.
This will help you alleviate the “oh crap what do I do with him now?” moments when you are exhausted and just want to go to bed! You can plot out just how elaborate (or not) you want to be ahead of time. Myself I determined I could sprinkle in a few bigger plans on the weekends but I try to leave the week days simple and very do-able. To this day my kids favorite trick Ralph ever did was to hang our underwear on the mantle in place of their stockings! Simple and clearly left that lasting memory we are always hoping to achieve with each tradition we sprinkle in our lives.
Walk around your house well before your elf is due to arrive and brainstorm easy ideas you can execute with minimal props and/or energy.
Maybe the elf is hanging from a ceiling fan while it spins on low. Or is inside the coffee pot up side down as if she fell in. Every year I pull out our Christmas/ Holiday story book collection and stack them up as if he was reading them under the tree- usually that night we all read them as a family with hot cocoa and jammies on, it is one of my favorite things that darn elf does.
If you need a little inspiration, I have attached a link to a 2 week calendar you can use this year as well as a blank one if you want to create your own- or if you are crazy enough to have your elf stay the entire month of December!
Bottom line is you need to know your limits.
And while I know you want to create all the magical moments you can for your children every opportunity you have, is it worth it in the end if you are too exhausted or stressed out each day to enjoy their reactions? We need to be conscious of how we spend our energy because that too is a gift we give our families! If we are depleted trying to create so much magic, we are robbing them of the true gift which is being present in the moment while we are spending time together.
I wish you the happiest of holidays, filled with joy , family, love, and lasting memories with your village.
